Help for suicidal thoughts: How to end your life, without ending your life

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It’s mental health awareness week. So, what better time to start speaking up. I decided to begin my new blog with a subject that we can’t be too timid to talk about. It’s the biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK and affects more lives than we could ever know. 

Lives and feelings do change, even when they seem at their most certain. Survivors have described the moment they attempted suicide as instant regret. The steps in this article can help you leave your current life behind, but with the chance to turn back and nothing to lose.


As we get more comfortable opening up online, the s-word is becoming less taboo and more how are you? Let’s keep the dialogue going and make it stronger than ever.

Eric Steel’s heart-wrenching documentary, The Bridge, observes the final moments of those who leap from the Golden Gate Bridge. One of these souls jumped after a string of unsuccessful job interviews. If he’d decided to go home instead, he would have discovered a job offer on his answer machine.

The film also showed a remarkable survivor, who felt regret as soon as his feet left the bridge. During the four-second fall, “I instantly realised that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable. Except for having just jumped.”

“When I resurfaced and I was trying to stay afloat, I was thinking, ‘I am going to drown’. As I was bobbing up and down in the water, I was saying, ‘I don’t want to die, God I made a mistake’.”

Whether you’re in a dark place or know someone who is, feelings can be awkward to bring up and difficult to talk about. The pact this survivor made with himself before jumping puts this temporary discomfort into perspective: “I said to myself, if one person comes up to me and says, ‘are you okay? Is something wrong? Can I help you?’ I was going to tell them my whole life story and they were going to make me safe.”

“It’s not very logical,” he continues, but I disagree. We should be looking out for each other. 

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This proves how much lives and feelings can change when you least expect it. Whatever journey you’re on, I hope the following steps help you on your way to a fresh start:

      1. If you feel helpless in your situation, it’s time to take back control 
        Try to think of your circumstances as challenges. Tackle each one by one to transform them into strength and growth. Focus, take action and don’t let anything hold you back. Whatever the test, own it and empower yourself. You got this.
      2. Turn pain into purpose
        Is there a cause you’re interested in or passionate about? Perhaps something that’s affected your life, for better or worse? Charities really need your time and skills online and locally. There are also lots of volunteer, paid and career opportunities worldwide on charityjob.co.uk.
      3. Put yourself outside of your comfort zone
        Find this thought excruciating? If your comfort zone was working for you then you probably wouldn’t be reading this. There’s no better time to try something new. Something you’ve always been curious about or rekindle a hobby, activity or interest. It’s going to be uncomfortable and that’s a good thing!
      4. Do something that makes you feel something
        Shake up your routine and stay busy. This prevents your mind from ruminating and encourages your brain to release a healthy dose of feel-good endorphins. A study from San Francisco State University concluded that experiences make us happier than possessions. Depending on what floats your boat, these could include:

        • Joining a gym
        • Swimming
        • A much-needed vacation
        • Cooking or baking
        • Gardening
        • Feeding the ducks (oddly satisfying)
        • Anything creative (art, knitting, etc.)
        • Fawning over animals at your local pet shop (if you’d to keep one please adopt from a shelter)
        • Enrolling on a course to learn something new or sharpen your skills
        • If you live in the UK and collect Tesco Clubcard points, treat yourself
        • Going to a theme park (you can even use Tesco Clubcard points)
        • Groupon is also a fantastic way to immerse yourself in a new experience or hobby (and usually cheaper)Although no one can go back and make a brand new start anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending carl bard quote inspiration inspirational
      5. Visit somewhere you’ve always wanted to go 
        Travelling offers new perspectives and can change you for life (in a good way!) so don’t put it off any longer. Low on funds? Flight prices vary wildly if you’re willing to be flexible. Skyscanner is a valuable resource and hostels and Airbnbs are usually cheaper than hotels. 

        If you’re aged 18-30 (or up to 35 for some countries), you can earn while you travel with a working holiday visa. They’re available for lots of different countries, including Australia, New Zealand, Canada and Japan.

      6. Give yourself the work life you deserve
        If you’re in a job rut, don’t despair. It takes a lot of patience but good things really do come to those who wait. There’s nothing to lose by trying. If you’re unemployed or don’t have the qualifications for the career you want, an internship or apprenticeship can put you on the right path.

        Sign up for a free online course or further education, if circumstances allow. Studying or working gives you a schedule to keep, people dependent on you—some of them may be pretty awesome too—and helps your mind escape rumination.

      7. Move your body in a way that contradicts your mind
        It’s an uphill struggle if everyday life feels daunting or you’ve been stripped of any motivation. When we master the technique to physically do things that we mentally may not want to (exams, first dates, job interviews, etc.), the rewards can be amazing and take us places we never thought possible.

        Keep climbing that hill. Reading this proves you’re already halfway to the top.

      8. Stay focused on the life you want to create and the person you want to become 
        Describe these in a letter to yourself to help you go from strength to strength. Outline future goals and expose any demons. Position this letter somewhere you’ll see it every day to stay on track. Be honest and let the words flow. 

        Try not to be cruel to yourself in writing or mind. You probably wouldn’t talk to another person that way, so don’t be anything less than kind, supportive and understanding to yourself. This is the start of your healing process.mental health depression suicide anxiety quote

    So, ending your life doesn’t have to be black and white. This moment right here, right now can be your pivotal turning point. Don’t waste any time and start taking steps towards your new life right now. It’s worth a try.

  1. If you found this page because you’re having suicidal thoughts, please get in touch with the Samaritans (UK) or reach out to anyone you can. There is always another way. Your track record of surviving difficult times is 100% and proves you’re a fighter.
  2. A quick online search will show the immense amount of support available. Or, talk to someone you know. It’s surprising how compassionate people can be when you’re open and honest with them. 

  3. If you have any tips, advice or helpful resources, please add them in the comments below. Thank you.

 

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